Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
