bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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