Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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