i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
