Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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