my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
