I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
