Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize