I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
