They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
