Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When did we convert life to cartoon?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
