I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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