i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
