what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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