I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
