I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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