"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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