Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
