it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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