Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
