I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
