We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
