Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
