Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
as a side note pls kill me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
