Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
