I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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