Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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