We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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