Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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