Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
