drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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