come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
