Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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