In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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