dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize