i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
