I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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