I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
