you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize