The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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