I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
