He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
