This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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