if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
