Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
