So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
