Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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