My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
