I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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