Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
