What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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