There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh god it's open bar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
