He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!