I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
