does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin