Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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