his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
