so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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