I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
