you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
