so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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