I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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