After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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