Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
