I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
