do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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