Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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