So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
