everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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