my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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