Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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